The Park

John the repair man came to fix the sliding doors to the balcony this morning. They don't slide anymore, you have to stand in the gap and heave them open with your bosom. It's something to do with living near the sea, which is also (apparently) the reason Darren's key became bent in the front door.

They blame a lot on the salty sea air but it doesn't account for the crap top- loading washers and vacuum cleaners that don't clean. How I long for European appliances, and so do the Aussies because the wealthy ones are willing to pay a premium to get them.

John was over an hour late by the time he showed up. He blamed it on an accident on the Parramata road. I raised an eyebrow to indicate I didn't believe him but had to lower it again after he showed me the pictures of the crash scene on his mobile phone; an old red VW Beetle squashed under a truck. He was so pleased with having captured it that he hadn't a clue whether there were any casualties.

Afterwards we went out to meet Jan and Saul at Centennial Park intending to stay an hour but enjoying the company so much that we stayed until the light started to fade at half four. The cafe with the fountains is closed for repairs but there's a temporary kiosk with tables full of chattering mothers munching on pear and walnut bread under the palm trees and blue skies. Combine it with Malcolm's travelling kindy farm right nextdoor (goats, sheep, a pig and a performing guinea pig called Madonna) and you've got a mummy and toddler dream. Malcolm even stamps your hand so you can come and go into the kindy farm as many times as you like.

Jan's going back to Cheshire to visit the rellies in October. She's flying economy and hasn't bought a seat for Saul because he'll be 22 months - the same age Ella is now.

"Is it too late to buy him the seat?" I asked, wincing.

"We're trying to save some money" she replied, "and it's only twenty-four hours"

"Does he fall asleep easily?"

"No, he's a bit of a nightmare actually, and he has real trouble falling asleep in someone's arms"

I thought about the seat pitch in economy and the person in front reclining their seat when you're halfway through your dinner. I don't envy her, it would have been worth whatever it costs, and I can say that because I've been there.

We talked a lot about the UK today, about whether she'd go back after seven years in Sydney, about Sydney and about the Aussies and the Brits. About her planned trip home.

"I don't think I could go back now, practically with Martin's job. He's a lawyer and he's taken all the Australian law exams in his field. But also from a lifestyle point of view. I'm still puzzled about what you do with children on a wet winter afternoon"

I thought about it. "We go shopping. To the Trafford Centre if we need something or to John Lewis if we want to browse. We stay home and do stuff or go to a play cafe or round to a friend for coffee. The problem with the north west is the damp. I don't mind the cold but the damp gets me down, that and the lack of sunshine"

I watched as a flock of black cockatoos swept across the blue sky and it hit me I hadn't seen a cloud in a week and I can't remember the last time it rained.

"It's not just the weather though" she said. "It's the whole bloody class system. I like the fact I don't get judged for having an accent. Nobody recognises my accent here so nobody makes assumptions about me. When I was practising in law, nobody was impressed by that, they didn't treat me any differently. The aussies don't defer to people in authority or people like lawyers and doctors. In the UK, the senior partners in a law firm are unaproachable. The clerical staff wouldn't dare speak to them, the juniors are scared of them. Here in Australia the juniors stand up for themselves, it's much more laid-back, more on first-name terms"

"But they have that word "Larrikin" as well" I said. "It means someone who sticks two fingers up to authority. I've read about australian history and I think it comes from the early days when the first settlers arrived. It was all convict prisoners and guards, the convicts outnumbered the guards and they looked up to people who gave the finger to people in power. I'm sure that's where it comes from, if you think about it. And the whole Kate Middleton thing - I understand why she was never going to be queen but the aussies don't get it"

"Well there's Queen Mary of Denmark, she was as estate agent, met the heir apparent in a pub during the 2000 Olympics"

"Exactly" I said.

"I just hate it". said Jan. "But don't get me wrong, I can't wait to go back for a holiday and you watch, I'll come back all nostalgic for England, all upset about it"

"In November? No you won't, it'll confirm why you came here. My ex-step brother sent me a text message on Monday telling me he was unexpectedly heading back to the UK for three weeks with his job. He had spent all morning standing on his balcony getting a fix of the view across the harbour. I know exactly what he means - I try to get my fixes all the time because I'm aware we might spend the rest of our lives without this place. I have to get my fill of it and do it justice I suppose. I feel so sad and heavy hearted when I think about leaving. I'll have the worst depression in the north west next January"

"It must be odd to think you're almost halfway through"

"No, halfway through is July. That's the half-time analysis"

Ella tore past kicking her wiggles ball. Saul followed. They both have colds and snotty noses because winter is coming but you'd never guess it watching them in the sunshine.

"When I listen to your impressions of Australia it takes me back to when I first arrived. I've just got used to it all now but speaking to you brings back how I felt when I first got here. I expected it to be much more like the UK and it was hard at times getting used to it, to the subtleties and the humour"

"Oh god, the humour. Will someone please give me a sidewards glance or use some bloody sarcasm. They're so straight - take everything much more literally than we do. They don't do much tongue in cheek, they don't know how to take me at all"

"Though not as bad as the Germans" we agreed.

"So, anyway, what are your plans for your trip back to Cheshire?"

"Well it'll be October half-term when we get there. We suggested Centre Parks but it's ridiculously expensive at half term and the in-laws are paying so even though we'd like to go there we're going to a cheaper version somewhere in Nottinghamshire"

"That's a pity" I said. "I've thought several times recently that we'll have to go to Centre Parks to warm ourselves up almost immediately after we get back. Either that or book a sunbed out for a week. Can you imagine the come down after this?"

"And then perhaps we'll book something in the lake district. And then, well, I'm looking to you to come up with some ideas for what I can do in Cheshire in November"

I paused. "Well, there's a cracking tea room at Tatton Park and the walk round the lake is nice". The first thing that comes to mind almost always involves a decent flapjack.

"Okay"

"And there's Chester zoo, but the animals are a bit boring after Taronga, there aren't any, you know, marsupials. Erm, Chester is nice, down by the river. More tea rooms but no banana bread and there's a little sit-and-ride train in the park there, and some pretty aggressive squirrels"

I was struggling now.

"I've heard there's an aquarium out that way?" said Jan

"Yes, Blue Planet"

"Is it any good?"

"Well, it's not Sydney Aquarium. It's full of scousers but there's an underwater viewing tunnel so you can join them pointing up at the sharks and shouting "hey our kid, look at dat"

"Where is it?"

I thought of Ellesmere Port, the chimneys and the view across towards the petrochemical works.

"Yeah, it's out Chester way" I said. "You just follow the brown signs. Look, you could always go into Manchester. It's nice now, there's Urbis and there are good places to eat. The Christmas markets will be on in Albert Square and there's baby changing facilities downstairs in Daisy and Tom on Deansgate. They do kiddie's food for about £5 a head"

"Jesus, that's about $12.50. I earn in dollars, I'll be stony-broke in the UK".

"Looks like it'll be the Trafford Centre after all then".