Poseidon Adventure

Thursday July 12th

So we'd tried the family outing to the outer reef and it was a non-starter, especially for me as I spent more time babysitting and pacing about with a pram than I did in the water. We decided after that we'd take a day each from Port Douglas and head out alone to do our own thing and we chose to go with Poseidon on the recommendation of the hotel's owner, Jean.

Today was my turn and it was pretty overcast first thing. Once we set out from the marina the boat started swaying about like something from Captain Pugwash; a challenge even for those of us loaded up with double doses of medication.

And there I was looking and feeling like Billy No Mates and they start the briefing about snorkelling buddies and how you need to stay in pairs and as if that wasn't enough they drop the bombshell that they don't encourage snorkelling in a lifejacket because although it might save your life, it will hamper your snorkelling, so please, no lifejackets, just grab a noodle, a long flotation device, and hook it under your arms.

Then off we go to the outer reef, to Agincourt Reef to be exact, which is right on the edge of the continental shelf, promising an alarming drop-off into the depths of the South Pacific, not great if you're a bit scared of water and they're only offering a noodle, and especially not if it's choppy.

Thinking I'd better make some mates, I struck up a conversation with the people around me, mostly New Zealanders escaping the winter like us. In particular I talked to a family from Auckland, then the wife introduced her clan.

"I'm Lynn, this is my husband Tem, my son Tom and my daughter Lucy"

"Tem?"

"She means "Tim"" said Lucy, trying to mimick an English accent.

"Tim and Tom in the same house" I said. "Do you have Timtam biscuits in New Zealand?, your life must be hell"

"We stick to digestives" offered Tem. A wise choice.

Anyway, they were a nice bunch, Lucy in particular, in her first year at university on a sports scholarship because she's training to represent New Zealand in the 2012 olympics, a hockey player, you know, useful if I needed to hit anything between the eyes and swim off.

"We went out playing golf yesterday at the Sheraton Mirage" said Lucy. "We're not very good but it was a laugh, at least, until we saw the bloody crocodiles sunbathing at the ninth hole. Bloody crocodiles". She hushed up the last statement in case her mum heard her swearing, which seems to be where the Kiwis and the Aussies part company.

We arrived at Agincourt Reef in the rain. The sea was choppy to say the least but I didn't want to embarass myself by asking for a life jacket so I grabbed a noodle and climbed off the back of the boat, under some pressure from the queue of snorkellers behind me.

And then a wave broke right over my head and I swam straight back to the boat and clung to the side until everyone else was off. Then I climbed back up the ladder and waddled staight to the instructor in my yellow flippers to ask for a life jacket.

"A life jacket?" said the instructor. "Nobody has ever asked for one of those before"

"Well I don't mind being the first" I replied

"Look" He said "I'll give you a life jacket but it really defeats the object of what we're trying to do here - it's supposed to be a learning experience"

I sloped off feeling daft. I didn't want to look stupid, especially not being on my own with nobody to hang out with. I'd be like the ugly duckling, so I got back into the water and braved it and it was okay after a while. I even started to enjoy it and spotted a butterfly fish (top), giant clam (middle) and parrot fish (bottom).

I am a changed person. Bring on the cockroaches.