Letters to the Editor

I'm embarrased to report that we are continuing to bask in blue skies and warm temperatures down under, embarrased because I can't help thinking Britain has been cheated of almost an entire summer this year and that by the time we get back you'll all have such chronic cases of seasonal affecive disorder that the NHS will finally have collapsed under the strain of the bill for Prozac and other mood-altering drugs.

This morning we went down to the beach at Clovelly, which was blissfully quiet, with the exception of a few eastern suburbites, you know, shih-tzu dogs wearing red hair bobbles, their owners sporting fashionably large sunglasses, both of them paused for drinks at Seasalt cafe, perched on the cliff above the swimming pool. We tried this ourselves but found the people who work there so utterly rude (12pm, no, breakfast has finished, no, lunch hasn't started. We'll sell you a muffin and that's it) that I'd rather walk over hot coals than try again, so after an hour or so mooching about the water's edge, we retired to sit outside a cafe on Clovelly Road instead, still a bit poncy but not nearly as poncy as Seasalt.

At the Cafe we picked up a copy of "The Beast", a free monthly magazine for Sydney's beaches and bays of the east. It's always a bit of a cultural revelation reading local newspapers and The Beast is no exception to this despite it's glossy cover and wannabee kind of vibe. This month's "letters to the editor" section is dominated by some tit-for-tat between dog owners and beach-goers, the latter championed by a man who has written to complain about the number of unprovoked dog attacks and the leniency of the system of fining their owners. True to form, the letter is headed "Four Legged Shitting Machines" despite the fact the writer of the letter makes no reference to this at all. I don't know who finances The Beast, but the editor's a law unto himself. At least Kyle and Jackie-O don't actually commit themselves to print.