Cockroaches

The cockroach situation seems to be getting worse. Last night we saw the biggest one yet crawling on the wall above the washing machine while two of his mates were starting the get-away car on the kitchen work surface. I made Darren go through the ironing basket shaking every last item of clothing afterwards. It's freaking me out.

We've bought some stuff to get rid of them. They call them "bombs" so now we have to "bomb" the kitchen. The problem is, you have to switch the fridge off beforehand then leave the house for at least two hours. I'm not worried about the food, I'm worried about moving the fridge to get to the plug.

We haven't bombed them yet. I'm waiting for Darren to get a day off work so he can do the bombing while I do the scarpering.

In the meantime, I've left three cans of bomb and a can of "Mortein Fast Knockdown Insect Spray" on top of the cooker as a sort of warning to them. The cans all have pictures of dead cockroaches on the front. They look exactly like the pictures you see on electric substations and electricity pylons subtitled "Danger of Death"; the one where the bloke is lying on his back and a burst of electricity is striking him in the chest. The Mortein cans are like public information notices for cockroaches, but will they take heed?