Look, it's survival of the fittest round here. It's cold and it's damp and there's one radiator between the three of us so I've hatched a cunning plan which is working a treat.
First off, you have to develop a bit of a cold. Nothing too serious, just a snotty nose (green being this season's must-have colour) and then you have to tell anyone who'll listen. Like my mum always says, it's her fault for talking to me in the first place.
Second, you ask for lots of cuddles and get all snuggled up on the sofa in the afternoon with your mum to watch a film. If you're only two you'll get away with Fireman Sam or something like that, but don't fall asleep because you'll have to sniff a bit every five minutes to make your point.
After that you're laughing all the way to the sleeping bag. Since I turned on the sniffly bunny act I've managed to wrangle almost total custody of the radiator. My mum heats my bedroom all day so it's nice and toasty by bedtime; then I get the warm towel treatment straight form the bath and a wash and blow dry every single night. Tomorrow I'm going to push the boat out and ask for a pedicure, frosty pink or something like that.
The only down-side to the sniffly act is that the olds went to K-Mart and bought me some long-sleeved thermal vests.
Rats.
They've got me done up like a kipper and it's only a matter of time before my mates find out.
No comments:
Post a Comment