Plagued

The bad news is that Sydney is playing host to a plague of Beaumont moths, huge hairy buggers on their way to breeding grounds somewhere near Canberra. They are so enormous that I have been able to detect three distinct facial expressions when they've been crawling up the patio doors (bored, lost and meithered). I'm assuming from the way they're flapping about that their chief navigator has the map upside down.

The good news is that Batman's finally got bored with the beard and shaved the whole lot off. The joke with the doctors and the facial hair was good while it lasted, but he was beginning to look like Dave Lee Travis and it was only a matter of time before he started playing snooker on the radio. I'm ashamed to admit I didn't notice for literally hours. I was too busy swatting moths.