Election Night

I deliberately haven't talked about the Australian elections on my blog, for two reasons.

Firstly, well, politics is boring at the best of times, but it's even more boring when you haven't got a clue who the candidates are (or who the parties are, for that matter). And secondly, I sort of expected John Howard's government to be re-elected. Status Quo. No change.

Then yesterday we saw this in the sky above St Kilda and we began to wonder. Was the government going to lose the election? And was the Prime Minister actually going to lose his seat? Surely not?

With Ella in bed, we poured the wine and checked the TV listings. Our hotel had Foxtel (which is like Sky) but still there was bugger all we wanted to watch. Or rather, we were both secretly interested in watching the election coverage, but who was going to be the first to admit it?

"I don't mind watching it" I eventually conceded. "In fact, I'm secretly quite into it"

So we watched as Koshie and Mel covered the breaking stories. Koshie and Mel are the breakfast TV presenters on channel 7 and I seem to be the only person in Australia who actually likes them. People say David Koch is cheesy but sometimes cheesy is good, especially when you've got no real friends and Koshie is the only other human being who's going to talk to you all day.

Anyway, by half ten it was all over. The liberal party had lost (that's the conservatives to you and me) and the labor party were in office. Mr Howard left the PM's residence at Kiribilli House (great view, right opposite the opera house) and he also lost his seat at Bennelong. He lost it to a former television journalist who fancies herself something rotten so I've got my eye on her as the next PM as well.

"I feel so sad" I said to Darren

"Why?"

"I feel sorry for John Howard. He's just lost his job, and he's so old"

It struck me then that the reason I felt so sad is because the thought of old Mr Howard being out on his uppers at Christmas is a bit tragic. I mean, who'll pay for the turkey? I had visions of Bob Cratchett's house in The Muppet Christmas Carol, Miss Piggy stirring the pot while John Howard tries to explain there's no bird to go in it. John would be scared of Miss Piggy. I'm scared of Miss Piggy.

"He probably doesn't mind losing his job" replied Darren. "He's getting on, probably wants to retire"

"And look at Jeanette's face" I continued. "God, she's thinking, he's going to be getting under my feet at home now". The Prime Minister's wife didn't look happy.

"Anyway, it's the end of an era" I said. "He's been there for eleven years. Every time we've been here, John Howard's been prime minister. He's been PM all through our year down under. Now Australia's moving on without us. Sort of drives it home that our year's coming to a close I suppose"

"Yeah, I know what you mean" said Darren, "though it's all a bit 1997. Like when labour got in back home"

"I wonder whether they'll go the same way now then?" I said. "Kevin Rudd's promising all these health and education reforms for Australia. Good luck with that, Mr Rudd"

We drank a toast to John Howard, like a pair of old colonials. Mr Howard stood in front of the Australian flag at the Wentworth Hotel in Sydney giving his speech. Suddenly we felt part of everything. Ten months ago we couldn't have cared less. Now we had an opinion.

"It's the end of that flag, I reckon. The beginning of the end" I said

"What do you mean?"

"Well the liberals are conservative. They support having the queen as head of state. Last time they had a referendum on whether to get rid of the queen, the left wing wanted a republic. They'll have another referendum now and they'll word it differently and bam, the Queen will be out on her ear. Give it twenty years and they'll change the flag as well, get rid of the union jack part of it, you watch. The aussies can't stand Prince Charles; they don't want him as head of state"

Another toast to John Howard and one for the Queen as well. Nothing for Prince
Charles though. We don't get a choice on the matter; the aussies get to vote him off.