Marks and Spencer.

It's raining. When it rains in Sydney, it's like someone is pouring water from a bucket. It's preferable to the incessant drizzle we get at home, but you don't half get wet. The Honda has two wiper settings; "slow" and "a bit faster". The "bit faster" one is no defence against the rain so it's almost impossible to see the road markings. I am a four-wheeled hazard, though at least I've worked out which side the indicators are on now.

The weather is a bit of a problem, not just because our wipers are crap but because this week's leg of the tour includes three nights in the wine-producing Hunter Valley, where there's lots of wine tasting for the adults and not much for kids. We were relying on the great outdoors and the playground at Polkolbin but since I saw the weather forecast we are relying on a newly-purchased set of face paints and a play doh fun factory.

Today I went shopping at Bondi Junction with the following remit:

(1) Buy an electric steamer. I miss mine more than I can say.

(2) Buy Ella some plain pink or white or blue socks, preferably all three.

(3) Buy Ella some wellington boots for "nature walk" in the Hunter Valley. Hopefully a cute pair that look like ladybirds or frogs or similar.

(4) Buy myself some clothes for work.

(5) Buy myself some knickers.

I realise now how much I need the British high street. Or even The Trafford Centre. What I really need is Next, John Lewis, Jigsaw, Marks and Spencer, Dolcis, Office, Gap and Mothercare. What I don't need is a succession of cheap shops selling tarty clothes followed by a succession of shops selling Versace, I don't care how good the coffee is. I need knickers.

First stop, Myer. Myer is a five-level department store. It's a bit like John Lewis only not so middle class. The knicker department is impossible to navigate. The brands are unfamiliar and I can't find the price tags so I just have to feel the quality and check for scratchy labels, which makes me look a bit odd. The descriptions are unfamiliar as well. What's a "boy leg" pair of knickers? Is it low rise, hipster, high leg, bikini, string or what? I held four or five pairs up against my trousers. I don't know why I thought this would help because knickers held against trousers bear no relation to knickers on the bum. Actually, they look a lot better just held against trousers. Spiderman might have had something there.

A pair of Paris Hilton wanabees breeze through picking up green and pink knickers with rainbow coloured elastic around the top. I picture myself in the same pants, which makes me feel a bit ill. Eventually I give it up as a bad job and leave the shop thinking about the rows and rows of knickers I could have navigated in Marks and Spencers. I'm not desperate enough to go to Target or K-Mart. Thank God I don't need a bra.

Second, the kitchen department at Myer, where I spot a three-tier steamer for $65. There's only the display model, so I enlist an assistant, who goes off to get me a steamer and returns with the news that they are only available by order.

Third, the kitchen department at DJ's (David Jones), via the book department, where the assistant, who looks like Norris from Coronation Street, spies me flicking through Bill Bryson's "Down Under" and insists I go and sit down on a sofa to browse. He doesn't really like people browsing next to the books, he wants them to sit on the chairs to add to the ambience of his corner of the empire. The kitchen department sells exactly the same steamer for $99 because, well, the plastic carrier bag is a bit posher. I leave without it as a matter of principle.

Next up, the children's department at DJ's. They don't sell wellies and have only two pairs of socks for children aged 18 months to 3 years, both of which have enormous ruffles of lace around the top.

Pumpkin Patch, Esprit, Shoos and Sox, Bonza Brats (yes, honestly) and still no wellies. Pumpkin patch sells socks, but only specific socks to match specific outfits. If you haven't got the outfit, you don't need the socks.

I bought two shirts for work, some salsa for dinner and drove home, still thinking about Marks and Spencers. There's no place like it.